Have you ever been watching television, enjoying some soft core porn your favorite family friendly sitcom, when it was interrupted by not only a commercial, but the stupidest commercial in the world?
It’s happened to all of us at one time or another sure. But, isn’t there a point where it’s just gone too far? Shouldn’t there be a limit to the stupidity that is television advertising. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good commercial. But, we hate the bad ones.
Here’s some of the worst.
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The Company: British Airways
The Commercial: “There’s a Whale at the Airport”
Don’t get us wrong, we think marine animals are great. Nothing cuter than a dolphin doing whatever it is a dolphin does. But, at the airport? No thanks. Unless that dolphin is going to bring some coffee and donuts while we wait for our flight to board. That’s cool then. Maybe a mermaid flight attendant, now that’d be hot.
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The Company: Head On
The Commercial: “Maybe it’s Chapstick for Your Head”
It basically looks as if the woman in the commercial is using chap stick on her forehead. Maybe that’s what this product is. Perhaps it’s lip balm for a dry and irritated forehead. You know, from wearing a hat or a wool sock cap too long. The only thing worse than an itchy forehead is an itchy ass… we need “Ass On.”
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The Company: Truth-Anti Smoking Advertising
The Commercial: “Unicorns Sing About Cigarettes”
It looks like the audience at the end of this ridiculous commercial are pretty much in the same boat as us. Asking the question… “Huh?” Seriously, what the hell do unicorns and leprachauns have to do with smoking? We could probably buy into this if, and only if, Puff the Magic Dragon was in on it, “puff”ing away at a cigarette.
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Company: Vitamin Water
The Commercial: “Kelly Clarkson and the Cobra”
Despite how awesome the dude at the beginning of the commercial is, this spot for Vitamin Water falls just short of making us want to buy water. It’s sad really, because the product is great, flavored water makes regular water taste like bleh. We’d shower in the stuff if it wasn’t a dollar a bottle. Even so, we still think about it.
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Company: Burger King
The Commercial: “Whopper Junior is a Bastard”
We love burgers. We don’t love people in burger suits. This just seems like a feeble attempt at Burger King to capitalize on the success McDonald’s had with Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac. Besides, what appeal does an asshole Burger/Human Hybrid freak child have, certainly doesn’t make us hungry.
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What’s the wackiest commercial you’ve seen on television? Tell us about it in the comments section!
the British Airways ad is trying to show that getting a plane there is relaxed and like a stroll in the park,
do it at your own pace kind of thing,
also the ocean has lots of space so they are giving you the idea that you wont be cramped in a busy, crowded airport.
the nicotine commercial. there are MAGICAL creatures singing about the MAGICAL amount. its a MAGICAL thing.
OMG, that Head On commercial is the stupidest and most effing annoying commercial ever made. And I mean ever.
the point of the unicorns singing about cigarettes is that they’re singing about the ‘magical’ amount, hence, ‘magical’ animals.
you must be fucking retarded not to see it.
or a smoker.
one of the two.
I’m sure some tobacco exec said in a memo, “Nicotine makes you sick in large amounts, so we need to find the magical amount to give the consumer the most nicotene without making them ill from our product.”
I’m not a smoker, but these truth commercials are as bad as cigarette commercials. Oh wait there AREN’T any cigarette commercials because they were banned by the federal government. I say ban these too and let people choose for themselves.
If you don’t have any idea that smoking kills you eventually (depending on your genes) then you should die from lung cancer for being an idiot.
I agree with Mia for the unicorn one, and the rest of them are as obvious as well.
“Arthritus Pain.”
“Apply directly where it hurts.”
DUUUUUUUUUR, what does active on do?
Retards.
Head On is like mind minipulative!!! Bastards! All of em’!
Where’s the cadbury add with the ape playing the drums… 😐
btw, most of these MADE sense >.>
not processed properly is my guess 🙂
Auburn…the problem is that 90% of smokers start when they are teenagers. As a former teen, we are idiots when it comes to making sound choices. ASK current smokers if they could quit today without the w-drawals and s**t, 99% would.
Finally, the same agency that does the BK spots does the anti-smoking. I would bet they do V-h2o. I know they do the VW commercials with Brokke Shields. Their whole approach is about “shocking” you and creating water cooler conversations. Head-On is nothing but marketing pure and simple. I doubt the product works but because of MARKETING enuf dumasses will pay to try it. That’s all that Walgreens and Osco care about…get them in the store…”While I am here I may as well pick up some condoms, batteries, Juju Bees,,,”
go to youtube and check out rock on. waaaaay better
What about the Cadbury gorrila advert?
The drums one?
Americans are the kings of nonsensical and unfunny ads- because the ad agencies here are all afraid of offending their clients who are in turn afraid of offending or alienating the masses of anti-intellectual, uptight prudes that make up most of the population.
(The BA ad actually makes sense, by the way. You could have switched that one out with so many others that were made in the U.S.)
HeadOn is annoying. How about:
“HardON! Apply directly where it’s limp!”
Here’s what I want to know in regards to the British Airways spot…how do the animals breath? I see at least three mammalian species, whale, sea lion, and dolphins. There is a roof on the building and no visible air pockets or ventilation. How are these air-breathing creatures to survive?
You took a couple of those waaay too literally, but I do think that the Head-On commercials are the most annoying commercials ever. The Burger King ad annoys the hell out of me too.
Id like to know where the hell you get a bottle of vitamin water that big
Ya know, there is a sequel to the head on cmmercial where a black guy attacks you saying how much he hates the commercial and that it works.
….odd…
What ever happened to the good old days, like in 1968, when visual aids DID make unmistakable sense?
Okay, here’s an excellent example: My having no problems whatsoever speculating what the f*ck Arthur C. Clark and Stanley Kubrick’s were driving at with an alert-and-focused fetus in a lava lamp superimposed on a psychedelic color montage of a flyover above the surface of Jupiter, did you? Nooooooooooo, of course not!
And of course let’s not forget Dave the Jupiter-bound astronaut who de-brained HAL 9000 and then finally ended up in a dissolvent orange-red spacesuit and who instantaneously morphed into an old fart knocking over and shattering his beverage goblet on the floor at a dinner table for one, then morphed yet again to a gaunt and wrinkled 110 year-old curmudgeon on a bed lying in piss then back to an alert-and-focused fetus in a lava lamp.
Su-u-u-u-ure! Made perfect sense to me!