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	<title>Comments on: 10 Of The Most Bizarre Bible Verses Ever</title>
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	<description>Random Ramblings and Sometimes Funny Stuff</description>
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		<title>By: Count Trukula</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12821</link>
		<dc:creator>Count Trukula</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:21:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12821</guid>
		<description>#1 – Psalm 137:9
“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”

As with most of these verses, this is taken out of context. The whole text reads:
8O Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is he who repays you
for what you have done to us—
9he who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.
It is talking about the metaphorical children of Babylon the Great (See Revelation 18)

#2 – 2 Kings 18:27

“But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?”

Taken out of context. As punishment, the Lord made food scarce, so that, in order to survive, those people would have to either turn to cannibalism or eat their own waste.

#3 – Deuteronomy 21:18-21

“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”

Obedience was important

#4 – Mark 14:51-52

“A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked.”

Taken out of context ONCE AGAIN, this incident occured in the middle of the night, the man was in his pajamas, which, in the day before underwear, he was naked under his linen shirt, as other translations say.

#5 – Ezekiel 16:17

“You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.”

This is addressing a very sinful nation, which was later destroyed by God.

#6 – Judges 3:19-24

“But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, ‘I have a secret message for you, O king.’ And he commanded, ‘Silence.’ And all his attendants went out from his presence. And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, ‘I have a message from God for you.’ And he arose from his seat. And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them. When he had gone, the servants came, and when they saw that the doors of the roof chamber were locked, they thought, ‘Surely he is relieving himself in the closet of the cool chamber.’“

When any animal/human dies, it&#039;s excrement is expelled. This is also true with anyone who has ever caught a mouse on a sticky trap.

#7 – Deuteronomy 23:1

No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Purity was a big deal with God. For sacrifices, the animal had to be without blemish. There was also a requirement for anyone who had to go into God&#039;s house.

#8 – 1 Samuel 18:25-27

Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.

Circumcision was important to God and the Israelites. So the uncircumcised philistines were to be killed and circumcised, and present the foreskins to the israelite King.

#9 -Numbers 11:18

“And tell the people to purify themselves, for tomorrow they will have meat to eat. Tell them, ‘The LORD has heard your whining and complaints: ‘If only we had meat to eat! Surely we were better off in Egypt!’ Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will have to eat it. And it won’t be for just a day or two, or for five or ten or even twenty. You will eat it for a whole month until you gag and are sick of it. For you have rejected the LORD, who is here among you, and you have complained to him, ‘Why did we ever leave Egypt?’“

After leaving Egypt, the Israelites did nothing but complain. They complained about not having bread. they complained about having bread. They consistantly griped and complained about EVERYTHING. God got fed UP!

#10 – Ezekial 23:19-20

Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

Oh my indeed. &quot;There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals (the lovers) were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.&quot;

I wish you would leave the scripture verses in their context and consider them FIRST, to avoid looking like a fool.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>#1 – Psalm 137:9<br />
“Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.”</p>
<p>As with most of these verses, this is taken out of context. The whole text reads:<br />
 <img src='http://gremlindog.com/wordpress/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_eek.gif' alt='8O' class='wp-smiley' /> Daughter of Babylon, doomed to destruction,<br />
happy is he who repays you<br />
for what you have done to us—<br />
9he who seizes your infants<br />
and dashes them against the rocks.<br />
It is talking about the metaphorical children of Babylon the Great (See Revelation 18)</p>
<p>#2 – 2 Kings 18:27</p>
<p>“But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?”</p>
<p>Taken out of context. As punishment, the Lord made food scarce, so that, in order to survive, those people would have to either turn to cannibalism or eat their own waste.</p>
<p>#3 – Deuteronomy 21:18-21</p>
<p>“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”</p>
<p>Obedience was important</p>
<p>#4 – Mark 14:51-52</p>
<p>“A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked.”</p>
<p>Taken out of context ONCE AGAIN, this incident occured in the middle of the night, the man was in his pajamas, which, in the day before underwear, he was naked under his linen shirt, as other translations say.</p>
<p>#5 – Ezekiel 16:17</p>
<p>“You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.”</p>
<p>This is addressing a very sinful nation, which was later destroyed by God.</p>
<p>#6 – Judges 3:19-24</p>
<p>“But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, ‘I have a secret message for you, O king.’ And he commanded, ‘Silence.’ And all his attendants went out from his presence. And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, ‘I have a message from God for you.’ And he arose from his seat. And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them. When he had gone, the servants came, and when they saw that the doors of the roof chamber were locked, they thought, ‘Surely he is relieving himself in the closet of the cool chamber.’“</p>
<p>When any animal/human dies, it&#8217;s excrement is expelled. This is also true with anyone who has ever caught a mouse on a sticky trap.</p>
<p>#7 – Deuteronomy 23:1</p>
<p>No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.</p>
<p>Purity was a big deal with God. For sacrifices, the animal had to be without blemish. There was also a requirement for anyone who had to go into God&#8217;s house.</p>
<p>#8 – 1 Samuel 18:25-27</p>
<p>Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.</p>
<p>Circumcision was important to God and the Israelites. So the uncircumcised philistines were to be killed and circumcised, and present the foreskins to the israelite King.</p>
<p>#9 -Numbers 11:18</p>
<p>“And tell the people to purify themselves, for tomorrow they will have meat to eat. Tell them, ‘The LORD has heard your whining and complaints: ‘If only we had meat to eat! Surely we were better off in Egypt!’ Now the LORD will give you meat, and you will have to eat it. And it won’t be for just a day or two, or for five or ten or even twenty. You will eat it for a whole month until you gag and are sick of it. For you have rejected the LORD, who is here among you, and you have complained to him, ‘Why did we ever leave Egypt?’“</p>
<p>After leaving Egypt, the Israelites did nothing but complain. They complained about not having bread. they complained about having bread. They consistantly griped and complained about EVERYTHING. God got fed UP!</p>
<p>#10 – Ezekial 23:19-20</p>
<p>Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.</p>
<p>Oh my indeed. &#8220;There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals (the lovers) were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.&#8221;</p>
<p>I wish you would leave the scripture verses in their context and consider them FIRST, to avoid looking like a fool.</p>
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		<title>By: Laura</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12653</link>
		<dc:creator>Laura</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 04:38:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12653</guid>
		<description>Part of the reason we do not follow the rules of the old testament is because they were rules for the Jews. Christians didn&#039;t exist until Jesus was raised from the dead. Also, things like sacrificing and other laws were erased because of Jesus&#039; ultimate sacrifice. If you can imagine, that&#039;s a pretty big revolution! As for context, I&#039;m tired  and what to go to bed. Maybe I&#039;ll comment later.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Part of the reason we do not follow the rules of the old testament is because they were rules for the Jews. Christians didn&#8217;t exist until Jesus was raised from the dead. Also, things like sacrificing and other laws were erased because of Jesus&#8217; ultimate sacrifice. If you can imagine, that&#8217;s a pretty big revolution! As for context, I&#8217;m tired  and what to go to bed. Maybe I&#8217;ll comment later.</p>
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		<title>By: ~Nicole~</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12532</link>
		<dc:creator>~Nicole~</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12532</guid>
		<description>This is all so humorus to me. I find it to be absolutely hilarious that most wars are started about God. Most people will become violent and murderous defending their faith. Meanwhile, God is supposedly so great and loving. Do you &quot;Christians&quot; believe that God would want you calling other human beings son&#039;s of bitches in the defenses that you create for Him? Biblically speaking, every human being was created in God&#039;s image. Ergo calling someone a son of bitch is to call Jesus Christ a son of a bitch. Do you think Jesus was sitting there getting nailed to the cross screaming &quot;You son&#039;s of bitches! I hope you all burn in hell for this fuckin shit! My father is so gonna have your asses for this bullshit!&quot; NO! Shit like this makes me think that the bible is a huge crock of shit. Let me re-phrase. I think the bible is the correct word of God in some parts. I think most of it is a crock of shit. The bible was not written by Jesus. The bible was not written by God. The bible was not written by The Holy Ghost (though wouldn&#039;t that have been a sight to see). The bible was written by man. Man, creatures who can always be counted on to be misinformed. Unless Jesus was sitting over every author of the best selling book of all time, I&#039;m 100% sure that sometimes, that group of ever fallible humans fucked up here and there. First off, the bible contridicts inself EVERYWHERE. I think that&#039;s due to difference in oppinion between theses authors. For example; GE 1:31 God was pleased with his creation. 
GE 6:5-6 God was not pleased with his creation. 
(Note: That God should be displeased is inconsistent with the concept of omniscience.) There are so many other examples that this book was the word of man and not God. I don&#039;t believe for one second that God is as much of a prick as the bible makes Him out to be. The idea that He created this instinct within us all (which is a miracle in itself) and then set every single rule in opposition is nuts. God&#039;s not that mean, He isn&#039;t that cruel. Not to mention, He created us in His image. If he created us in His image, that means He has the same things we do. He has a sense of humor (go to Walmart and look around, there are some funny lookin people there) He has fear, He has love, He has rage, He get&#039;s annoyed. We are images of Him. I think that taking the bible so seriously is foolish. God is in your heart. Not on paper. I think arguing about it warrants a trip to a really hot place because it&#039;s insulting to the big man himself.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>This is all so humorus to me. I find it to be absolutely hilarious that most wars are started about God. Most people will become violent and murderous defending their faith. Meanwhile, God is supposedly so great and loving. Do you &#8220;Christians&#8221; believe that God would want you calling other human beings son&#8217;s of bitches in the defenses that you create for Him? Biblically speaking, every human being was created in God&#8217;s image. Ergo calling someone a son of bitch is to call Jesus Christ a son of a bitch. Do you think Jesus was sitting there getting nailed to the cross screaming &#8220;You son&#8217;s of bitches! I hope you all burn in hell for this fuckin shit! My father is so gonna have your asses for this bullshit!&#8221; NO! Shit like this makes me think that the bible is a huge crock of shit. Let me re-phrase. I think the bible is the correct word of God in some parts. I think most of it is a crock of shit. The bible was not written by Jesus. The bible was not written by God. The bible was not written by The Holy Ghost (though wouldn&#8217;t that have been a sight to see). The bible was written by man. Man, creatures who can always be counted on to be misinformed. Unless Jesus was sitting over every author of the best selling book of all time, I&#8217;m 100% sure that sometimes, that group of ever fallible humans fucked up here and there. First off, the bible contridicts inself EVERYWHERE. I think that&#8217;s due to difference in oppinion between theses authors. For example; GE 1:31 God was pleased with his creation.<br />
GE 6:5-6 God was not pleased with his creation.<br />
(Note: That God should be displeased is inconsistent with the concept of omniscience.) There are so many other examples that this book was the word of man and not God. I don&#8217;t believe for one second that God is as much of a prick as the bible makes Him out to be. The idea that He created this instinct within us all (which is a miracle in itself) and then set every single rule in opposition is nuts. God&#8217;s not that mean, He isn&#8217;t that cruel. Not to mention, He created us in His image. If he created us in His image, that means He has the same things we do. He has a sense of humor (go to Walmart and look around, there are some funny lookin people there) He has fear, He has love, He has rage, He get&#8217;s annoyed. We are images of Him. I think that taking the bible so seriously is foolish. God is in your heart. Not on paper. I think arguing about it warrants a trip to a really hot place because it&#8217;s insulting to the big man himself.</p>
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		<title>By: Jordan</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12373</link>
		<dc:creator>Jordan</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:34:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12373</guid>
		<description>Let&#039;s see...

Christians saying things are &quot;out of context&quot; and missing the point of the post? Check.

Non-believers wildly mocking the Christians and taking their &quot;out of context&quot; argument out of context? Check.

Total weirdos coming out of left field with some ultra-bizarro take on everything? Check.

People saying, &quot;I LOVE HOW CHRISTIANS HATE GAYS BECAUSE THAT&#039;S IN THE OLD TESTAMENT&quot;...ignoring that it&#039;s in the New Testament too? Check.

Yep, it&#039;s your typical religion fight on the internet.

Christians, of course they are taken out of context. It was done as a joke. Get over it.

Non-Christians, stop with the terrible strawman arguments about &quot;picking through verses&quot; and &quot;you better not wear woven fabric&quot; bullcrap. You&#039;re just as big of a blind follower as they are for repeating that foolish argument because you heard somebody say it and you thought it sounded cool, but if you read the entire New Testament, it would be easy to see why that argument doesn&#039;t hold water.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Let&#8217;s see&#8230;</p>
<p>Christians saying things are &#8220;out of context&#8221; and missing the point of the post? Check.</p>
<p>Non-believers wildly mocking the Christians and taking their &#8220;out of context&#8221; argument out of context? Check.</p>
<p>Total weirdos coming out of left field with some ultra-bizarro take on everything? Check.</p>
<p>People saying, &#8220;I LOVE HOW CHRISTIANS HATE GAYS BECAUSE THAT&#8217;S IN THE OLD TESTAMENT&#8221;&#8230;ignoring that it&#8217;s in the New Testament too? Check.</p>
<p>Yep, it&#8217;s your typical religion fight on the internet.</p>
<p>Christians, of course they are taken out of context. It was done as a joke. Get over it.</p>
<p>Non-Christians, stop with the terrible strawman arguments about &#8220;picking through verses&#8221; and &#8220;you better not wear woven fabric&#8221; bullcrap. You&#8217;re just as big of a blind follower as they are for repeating that foolish argument because you heard somebody say it and you thought it sounded cool, but if you read the entire New Testament, it would be easy to see why that argument doesn&#8217;t hold water.</p>
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		<title>By: Sean</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12162</link>
		<dc:creator>Sean</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Dec 2011 01:31:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12162</guid>
		<description>I love how people complain above about things being taken out of context above, and yet Christians are happy to pick through the old supposedly irrelevant aspects of Jewish and Levite laws to dig out verses against homosexuality and tattoos. If you quote those verses, you must keep a kosher kitchen and sacrifice a turtle after you menstruate. Otherwise, hush.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I love how people complain above about things being taken out of context above, and yet Christians are happy to pick through the old supposedly irrelevant aspects of Jewish and Levite laws to dig out verses against homosexuality and tattoos. If you quote those verses, you must keep a kosher kitchen and sacrifice a turtle after you menstruate. Otherwise, hush.</p>
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		<title>By: Joint-Heir w/Christ</title>
		<link>http://gremlindog.com/lists/10-of-the-most-bizarre-bible-verses-ever/comment-page-3/#comment-12076</link>
		<dc:creator>Joint-Heir w/Christ</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Dec 2011 07:05:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://gremlindog.com/?p=734#comment-12076</guid>
		<description>May we all see the blessings of God through His son Christ and find Peace, Joy, and Love in it. 
This is my prayer!

Joint-Heir w/ Christ(hopefully we can all fill in our names here...)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>May we all see the blessings of God through His son Christ and find Peace, Joy, and Love in it.<br />
This is my prayer!</p>
<p>Joint-Heir w/ Christ(hopefully we can all fill in our names here&#8230;)</p>
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