Guess What Everyone Is Getting For Christmas!

No joke, this is a book. It is written by a guy that thinks you can become Batman. He is quoted saying.

“You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess. Most of what you see there is feasible to the extent that somebody could be trained to that extreme. We’re seeing that kind of thing in less than a month in the Olympics.”

He has no idea.

Although this book will indeed be purchased, I think it should be noted, that no, this is not the road to “Becoming Batman”.

Having your parents murdered in front of your freakin’ eyes and then falling down a well full of bats and shit is the way to becoming Batman.

Of course on top of the entire “Olympic Level Athlete” and “Expert Martial Artist” there’s the whole badass detective thing to factor in. Batman is the “World’s Greatest Detective” according to DC Comics official website. So, if you’ve ever had trouble figuring out where you left your keys, or what exactly the mystery meat is at the local Chinese Restaurant, you probably don’t have the Sherlock Skillz to even begin to compete with Batman.

You don’t know what this is…

Oh, and how about all that money Batman has. You’re not that rich. And if you are that rich, well, it costs $100,000 to read this post. Please mail it to my P.O. Box address.

In fact Batman is, according to the Forbes Fictional Fifteen… very rich.

#8 Wayne, Bruce

Net Worth: $6.5 billion
Source: Inheritance; Defense
Age: 32
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Gotham City, U.S.A

Interesting side note, the #1 slot went to Scrooge McDuck, and even more interesting… #15 went to Princess Peach. And a side note to that side note, I can only imagine it being anything but impossible to accumulate wealth in the Mushroom Kingdom considering everytime you had 100 coins to your name you got a new life and were set back to having 0 coins again. So you’d be immortal, but always broke.

Of course, there are some people in real life with enough dough to purchase sweet Batman-esque gadgets and vehicles.

Below is the link to pre-order. Do yourself a favor though, and realize it just isn’t gonna happen. Mostly because of the fact that in the slim chance that the book would actually work, you would look like a complete tool in your outfit.

Link to Order:

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