Girls, heck boys even, be lovin some Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana Mania, as we in the biz call “Hannah Montana Mania”, has been sweeping the country for awhile now. But, it wasn’t until today at work that I realized just how bad batshit insane that it really is.
I had a customer come into the store with two little girls. They were probably around the age of 6-7, both girls were well behaved. As their mother walked up to the counter they followed…wearing not one, but TWO Hannah Montana T-shirts!
This is only five of the literally 86 gazillion shirts available online for parents to buy for their kids. I did the math and if those two little girls were both wearing Hannah Montana t-shirts… that means that… (carry the 2) 100% of the little girls in my store today were wearing Hanna Montana t-shirts! If they represent an accurate base of all kids in the world. That means that 100% of all little girls are wearing Hannah Montana t-shirts.
Girls from all over the world are wearing Hannah Montana t-shirts. And friends, this is not limited to just little girls. Oh no.
Babies.
Cats.
Even Old Men.
Everyone is in on Hannah Montana Mania. After doing some research… thank you encyclopedia kid…
…I even found that Hannah Montana Mania has been a problem that has plagued our fine country for many many years.
Hannah Montana Mania is out there. You’ve been warned. And as I see it, you have only two options.
#1. Invest in Hannah Montana stock and become rich beyond your wildest dreams.
#2. Or, move to Antarctica and try to get away from it all.
Oh shit.