Sarah Palin is Smarter Than… A Top 10 List

Poor Sarah Palin. She’s taking a lot of grief lately with Katie Couric throwing all of those hard questions at her. Then to go on national television to debate and be asked to answer more hard questions without any sort of prep time. And of course Saturday Night Live is doing it’s part in making the Governor look like a dummy. But, we’re here to clear a few things up. Recently hired by the McCain-Palin ticket, is on task to prove that Sarah Palin is no idiot. In fact, she’s quite intelligent. And this list is just the beginning of the proof.

May We Present:

Sarah Palin is Smarter Than… A Top 10 List!


#1 Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina

Sarah Palin can certainly empathize with Ms. Upton on the difficulties involved in some Beauty Contests. She’s been there before. But, Gov. Palin has never botched something up as bad as this. Gov. Palin already has a 3 Point Plan to eliminate the Map Shortages Worldwide.

#2 These Construction Workers

As Governor of a State where most of it’s structures are built of ice, Sarah Palin hasn’t come into contact with many problems like this. But, she guarantees that if elected, she’ll make sure all cars will be able to fly by the year 2010, so tragedies such as this don’t take place.

#3 Team Rocket

Never before has a team up been as unsuccessful as has Team Rocket. Elect McCain-Palin in 2008, and Sarah guarantees that the Maverick duo will have Pikachu captured in 12 to 16 months.

#4 Albert Einstein’s Statue

Sarah is not one to brag, but she feels pretty confident that she is indeed smarter than Albert Einstein’s Statue. E=MC², try doing that math when you’re made of cast bronze biotch.

#5 Tom Selleck’s Mustache

Though often distracted by his dashing good looks and massive rug of chest hair, Sarah Palin has on more than one occasion beaten Tom Selleck’s mustache at a game of Chess.

#6 A Caveman

Gov. Palin asked that we make it clear that she has no beef with the Cavemen from the Geico Commercials she sees on her magic talking picture box. They seem to be well spoken gentlemen, but, she’s smarter and prettier.

#7 Two Goats

Taking on not one, but two goats is no easy task for anyone. But, Sarah Palin has proven that she is more than capable of handling these little buggers in any test of skill. Providing said skill is not Algebra. And please, keep the total of goats at two and no more.

#8 The Duct Tape Thief

First of all, Sarah Palin wants to extend her condolences to The Duct Tape Thief’s family. She will see to it, that they will be compensated in full for the poorly used Duct Tape. Secondly, she would have used a regular old ski mask were she to rob someone.

#9 The People That Own This Store

Gov. Palin is still laughing after seeing this picture. She can’t believe they would use that kind of font on the sign of a store specializing in Kid Sex changes. The sign should look more dignified and doctorlike in her opinion.

#10 A Piggy Toaster

Tests showed that when properly shown how to operate, Sarah Palin was able to toast bread 10 out of 10 times using this Piggy Toaster. Although, it should be noted that she had the toaster thrown away immediately following the tests because she would not have anything competing with her for cuteness.


On behalf of the “Sarah Palin is Smarter Than…” team we need to ask for your help. This list is just the beginning. Please comment below and help build the number of things “Sarah Palin is Smarter Than…” If you know of something that “Sarah Palin is Smarter Than…” we want to add it to our list A.S.A.P. Do your part, please aid us in spreading the facts about the, in her own words, “Cutest Darn Vice Presidential Candidate there ever was.”