Ah… Pro Athletes. What we wouldn’t give to be one. All the money, all the fame, all the sweet sports cars and giant houses. All of the babes trying to grab our junk.
But, our moms say we have no talent. That and we don’t have the right “look.”
Neither do these guys mom, but they still made it!
#1 – Troy Polamalu
Don’t get us wrong. Troy is one hell of a football player. But, he doesn’t exactly put off that, “Hey, I’m a jock, where’s the weight room?” look that we would associate with a true Man’s Man Pro Athlete. He looks more like…
Cher. Yeah, that Cher hair just can’t be missed.
#2 – Yao Ming
Yao Ming is huge. He doesn’t even have to jump to dunk… or to touch the moon. We would imagine they sent this guy to America so he’d stop scaring the kids in his home country. He’s Godzilla big. Ming is like a giraffe on stilts… wearing a big hat.
Sure, the above picture has things mixed up a little… the giraffe has no hat, and the lion is the one on stilts. But, you can’t deny the fact that it’s hilarious. And the direct result of searching “giraffe on stilts + hat.”
We like this guy. He’s a great ball player, and he is in a funny commercial where he demands that there’s a full sized whole banana in each bottle of the flavored water. That doesn’t sway the fact that he looks like…
I know what you’re thinking… we just put another picture of Steve Nash here. But, you’re wrong. That’s James Blunt. And Steve Nash looks like him.
#4 – Randy Johnson
Odds are Randy Johnson is a really nice guy. We almost feel bad for even including him on this list. But that doesn’t change the fact that he looks more like a Huge Redneck than a Pro Athlete.
“No, I don’t want to play baseball today… I’m busy.”
#5 – Sam Cassell
Sam… why are you on this list?