Tag: Christmas

10 Greatest Funny Christmas Movies Ever

These are the 10 Greatest Funny Christmas Movies Ever. They’ll put you in the Christmas spirit while making you laugh… hard to beat. Enjoy!

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#10 – Deck The Halls

Starring: Matthew Broderick & Danny Devito

From: 2006

All and all an entertaining movie, but the part the always brings the most laughs is when Matthew Broderick’s character Steve asks the Santa Dancers “Who’s your daddy?” and finds that his own daughter is one of the dancers… priceless.

Memorable Quote:

Buddy Hall: I want my house to be seen from space!

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#9 – Jingle All The Way

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger & Sinbad

From: 1996

One of the few movies that Arnold is not trying to shoot or destroy something, full of funny bits, with the best being his parts with Comedian Sinbad.

Memorable Quote:

Myron Larabee: I work for the post office so you know I’m not stable! Tell ’em!
Howard Langston: This man is totally insane.
Myron Larabee: Thank you!

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#8 – Eight Crazy Nights

Starring: Adam Sandler

From: 2002

A funny animated film from Adam Sandler about a guy that just doesn’t like Christmas much, plenty of funny bits, most of which involve Whitey.

Memorable Quote:

Davey: Hey jelly jugs, next time you come to my gym you better wear a bra.

Whitey: He’s was just kidding son, you’ve got very nice breasts.

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#7 – How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Starring: Jim Carrey

From: 2000

The live action version of the original animated classic, starring Carrey as the Grinch himself. The best part by far, is any time that the Grinch belittles Cindy Lou Who.

Memorable Quote:

Cindy Lou Who: Thanks for saving me.
The Grinch: [ stops in his tracks] Saving you, is that what you think I was doing? Wrongo. I just noticed that you were improperly packaged, my dear.
[grabs wrapping paper and starts wrapping Cindy up]
The Grinch: Hold still.
[ to Max]
The Grinch: Max, pick out a bow.
[ to Cindy]
The Grinch: Can I use your finger for a sec?

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#6 – Four Christmases

Starring: Vince Vaughn & Reese Witherspoon

From: 2008

A story about what all of us dread, the many houses we have to attend around the holidays. Hilarious because each family visited has a little something in common with our own. Except for maybe our mom’s dating our old best friends.

Memorable Quote:

Jim: I’m not trying to be your father, I’m hoping for a chance to be your friend.

Brad: You were my friend, you were my best friend, but now you’re sleeping with my mom and it’s a little bit weird for me.

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#5 – Bad Santa

Starring: Billy Bob Thorton

From: 2003

The worst side of Christmas rears it’s ugly head in the form of Billy Bob Thorton as a mall Santa in this hilarious “Christmas” movie. Best part, Willie waking up to Christmas music on his alarm clock radio and dropping about 15 F-bombs.

Memorable Quote:

Sue: I’ve always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn’t notice. It’s like some deep-seeded childhood thing.
Willie: So is my thing for tits.

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#4 – Fred Claus

Starring: Vince Vaughn & Paul Giamatti

From: 2007

A great movie about how the other half of the Claus family lives. Vaughn plays Fred, the brother to Santa Claus who doesn’t have it quite as Holly Jolly as is brother, as seen when his brother Santa, parents, and his girlfriend attempt to stage an intervention.

Memorable Quote:

Fred: Santa’s having some trouble getting the sled off the ground?
[his mother plugs her ears]
Mother Claus: [ singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells…

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#3 – A Christmas Story

Starring: Peter Billingsley & Darren McGavin

From: 1983

Where do you begin with this classic that covers every nuance of the holiday season from an evil mall Santa, to school bullies. You could list a hundred best parts of the movie, but the Leg Lamp easily outshines them all.

Memorable Quote:

Santa Claus: How about a nice football?
Ralphie as Adult:[narrating] Football? Football? What’s a football? With unconscious will my voice squeaked out ‘football’.
Santa Claus: Okay, get him out of here.
Ralphie as Adult:[narrating] A football? Oh no, what was I doing? Wake up, Stupid! Wake up!
Ralphie: [Ralphie is shoved down the slide, but he stops himself and climbs back up] No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!
Santa Claus: You’ll shoot your eye out, kid.

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#2 – Elf

Starring: Will Ferrell & James Caan

From: 2003

By far the most hilarious part of this movie is Buddy trying to hug a raccoon, but the entire movie will make you laugh.

Memorable Quote:

Gimbel’s Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: Don’t tell him what you want, he’s a liar.
Gimbel’s Santa: Let the kid talk.
Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel’s Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.
Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
Gimbel’s Santa: Look, I’m not kiddin’.
Buddy: You’re a fake.
Gimbel’s Santa: I’m a fake?
Buddy: Yes!
Gimbel’s Santa: How’d you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
Buddy: You stink.
Gimbel’s Santa: I think you’re gonna have a good Christmas, all righ t.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.

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#1 – National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Starring: Chevy Chase & Randy Quaid

From: 1989

Funniest Moment: Though the entire movie is worth a thousand laughs, the shining moment has to be when Cousin Eddie arrives and Clark does a double take. From there, it’s all gut busting laughs.

Memorable Quote:

Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?
Eddie: Naw, I’m doing just fine, Clark.

Guess What Everyone Is Getting For Christmas!

No joke, this is a book. It is written by a guy that thinks you can become Batman. He is quoted saying.

“You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess. Most of what you see there is feasible to the extent that somebody could be trained to that extreme. We’re seeing that kind of thing in less than a month in the Olympics.”

He has no idea.

Although this book will indeed be purchased, I think it should be noted, that no, this is not the road to “Becoming Batman”.

Having your parents murdered in front of your freakin’ eyes and then falling down a well full of bats and shit is the way to becoming Batman.

Of course on top of the entire “Olympic Level Athlete” and “Expert Martial Artist” there’s the whole badass detective thing to factor in. Batman is the “World’s Greatest Detective” according to DC Comics official website. So, if you’ve ever had trouble figuring out where you left your keys, or what exactly the mystery meat is at the local Chinese Restaurant, you probably don’t have the Sherlock Skillz to even begin to compete with Batman.


You don’t know what this is…

Oh, and how about all that money Batman has. You’re not that rich. And if you are that rich, well, it costs $100,000 to read this post. Please mail it to my P.O. Box address.

In fact Batman is, according to the Forbes Fictional Fifteen… very rich.

#8 Wayne, Bruce

Net Worth: $6.5 billion
Source: Inheritance; Defense
Age: 32
Marital Status: Single
Hometown: Gotham City, U.S.A

Interesting side note, the #1 slot went to Scrooge McDuck, and even more interesting… #15 went to Princess Peach. And a side note to that side note, I can only imagine it being anything but impossible to accumulate wealth in the Mushroom Kingdom considering everytime you had 100 coins to your name you got a new life and were set back to having 0 coins again. So you’d be immortal, but always broke.

Of course, there are some people in real life with enough dough to purchase sweet Batman-esque gadgets and vehicles.

Below is the link to pre-order. Do yourself a favor though, and realize it just isn’t gonna happen. Mostly because of the fact that in the slim chance that the book would actually work, you would look like a complete tool in your outfit.

Link to Order:    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0801890632/boingboing0e-20