Being fearful of things is a part of human nature. That’s why we watch Horror Movies, go to Haunted Houses, and tell Ghost Stories in the dark around a camp fire. It’s one thing to close your eyes when the killer is about to stab the star of the movie, but it’s a completely different thing to avoid a pizza joint, because they might have garlic bread, and you’re scared of garlic.
Weird, unusual, and just plain silly phobias plague hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Some are understandable…
Coulrophobia:
But, the rest are just plain… well, you’ll see.
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Aulophobia- Fear of flutes:
Easily the most ridiculous thing on this list is being afraid of a flute. A wind instrument played by marching band members, the irony here would be if the Football Team Captain suffered from this and ran off the field whenever the band played.
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Bibliophobia- Fear of books:
The fear of books would be the perfect excuse for anyone that wanted to get out of doing homework at school. The downside would be that everyone would call you a weenie for being scared of books.
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Chrmatophobia- Fear of money:
Let us go on record right now and say that if anyone at all is afraid of their money, we can help. We’ll take any and all of it right off of your hands. Consider it our way of saying thanks for reading.
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Defecaloesiophobia- Fear of painful bowel movements:
No one wants to take a painful shit. But you know what, that’s what you get for eating that spicy jambalaya last night dillweed. Learn your lesson? Also, isn’t the picture above absolutely priceless?
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Erythrophobia- Fear of redlights:
Honestly, show us someone who likes getting stopped at a red light and we’ll take this off the list. It pisses us all off to have to hit the brakes and avoid slamming into the car in front of us. But, not liking and being afraid of, that’s two different things.
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Frigophobia- Fear of cold or cold things:
Just imagine the things a person afraid of the cold would miss out on; slurpees, iced beer, winter. Frostbite is a scary thing, but being afraid of a cup of ice cream is ridiculous.
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Geniophobia- Fear of chins:
LOL… Sorry, we were just imagining the next big horror flick starring Jay Leno along side Sarah Jessica Parker chasing scared teens around.
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Hobophobia- Fear of hobos:
See, there’s nothing to be afraid of, many of them are quite funny!
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Ideophobia- Fear of ideas
The hilarity of this is that you know there was some kid in middle school that was told by his teacher to join in a “brain-storming” session, he refused, and got detention. Probably eventually became the school bully, all because he was scared of ideas.
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Judeophobia- Fear of Jews:
Quiet! There’s a pack of Jews around that corner. If they hear you, they’ll pounce on you and give you sound financial advice.
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Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down:
Maybe there’s more to this definition then we found, maybe it’s more about fearing sitting in gum or something.
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Linonophobia- Fear of string:
Seriously? String?
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Mycophobia- Fear or aversion to mushrooms:
Not liking them on your pizza is one thing, but, cringing in fear when there’s one in the room. C’mon. I bet watching someone with this fear play Super Mario Bros. was priceless.
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Nomatophobia- Fear of names:
You’d have to feel sorry for this person’s pets. So, I thought you had a cat and a dog? “I do, over there is Cat… and outside is Dog.” What’s their names? “AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!”
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Olfactophobia- Fear of smells:
Shouldn’t someone be afraid of things that can actually “get them”? This is as bad as that “scary movie” The Fog.
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Pogonophobia- Fear of beards:
Being fearful of a man with a beard is one thing. Being afraid of the beard itself, nah. It’s like the old saying. “Guns don’t kill people, people with mustaches kill people.” Same premise.
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HippopotomonstrosesQuippedaliophobia- Fear of long words:
The irony card pops up again here. Where the person afflicted with the problem can’t even share it with people, because the word describing the problem is in fact, a long word.
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Ranidaphobia- Fear of frogs:
It’s not easy being green. But, seriously, when was the last recorded frog attack?
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Sarmassophobia- Fear of love play:
If you’re scared of making out and getting frisky, it’s not a phobia, you’re probably just dating someone that’s ugly.
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Tremophobia- Fear of trembling:
The classic case of which came first? The chicken or the egg. Was the person trembling because they were afraid, or afraid because they were trembling.
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Urophobia- Fear of urine:
This would be the worst nightmare for any guy. Because without a doubt, there’s no man that has ever walked into the bathroom in the middle of the night, and not pissed on his leg at least a little bit.
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Venustraphobia- Fear of beautiful women:
You poor, poor souls.
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Walloonphobia- Fear of the Walloons:
Apparently this is a picture of a Walloon Reunion. And the Walloons are some people in Europe. Or from a Dr. Seuss book. We’re not totally sure.
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Xerophobia- Fear of dryness:
Does a person suffering from a fear of dryness live in a swimming pool? We bet Triple H from WWE suffers from this. He’s always pouring water on his head.
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CYclophobia- Fear of bicycles:
This sucks. We thought we had a good one here, a fear of something really scary. Like a Cyclops. Instead, it’s the terror of two wheels! Bleh.
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Zemmiphobia- Fear of the Giant Mole Rat:
Seriously, if we don’t find something scary soo…. WTF IS THAT!?!? Good Lord. That’s the most evil thing we’ve ever seen. Hellraiser doesn’t have shit on a Naked Mole Rat. Eek.
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Know about any crazy phobias? Do you, or someone you know, suffer from any wacky fears? Tell us about it in the comment section.