There’s something entertaining about putting a random word into a search engine and seeing what the internet provides. It’s an entirely different story when you put in a word that should provide perfectly normal results, and you come up with things like the following. These are The 30 Most Bizarre Santas The Internet Has To Offer, enjoy!
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#1. Santa Fights The Devil
It’s a known fact that in his war against the devil, Jesus recruits Saints to help in the battle. Santa, or Saint Nick was always found in the front lines. Here it looks like he caught Satan off guard during a performance of Hamlet.
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#2. You’re Doing It Wrong Santa
This is either Santa’s evil twin brother Stan Claus, or he has never experienced Christmas before. The colors are red and white Stan!
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#3. Santa the Deer Charmer
You might be thinking… “Hey what’s wrong with Santa playing a saxophone, that’s cool.” But, what’s really going on here is that Santa has studied the art of Snake Charming… sadly he’s substituted the usual snake, for Blitzen.
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#4. Santa macks on some Ho Ho Hos.
About one out of every 10 Santa images on the internet brings either a Sexy Santa Chick or a pic of Santa with a Sexy Chick. This is our favorite. She didn’t even bother dressing up in holiday attire, she’s just a hoe.
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#5. Santa Battles The Flash
Sure, we could assume that Flash made the Naughty List, and therefore Santa is only doing what is necessary. The bigger question is: Why are there three gun toting, short wearing Santas?
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#6. Santa Visits The Baby Jesus
He was left out of most Bibles, but according to this, Santa was indeed at the manger along with the other wise men. He didn’t bring frankincense, gold, or myrrh. Santa brought what Jesus really wanted, a Nintendo Wii.
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#7. Santa Twins
Honestly, we’ve got nothing on this one. Santa battling his evil twin Stan for a maraschino cherry? Anyone have any clue?
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#8. Santa Arrested
It was bound to happen. Santa is finally arrested for Breaking and Entering.
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#9. Santa On Vacation
Everyone deserves a break from their jobs. But isn’t there some kind of rule about men with bellies full of jelly keeping their shirts on at the beach?
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#10. Santa Battle Halloween Man
The caption in the top right says it all… “The Battle That Had To Happen, Halloween vs. Christmas!” The battle for holiday supremacy is one thing, but why in the hell are there three Fetish Nuns!?!?!?
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#11. Buttplug Santa Statue
Sure, you could make the excuse that Santa is simply holding a poorly made Christmas Tree in his hand. You could…
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#12. Smoking Is Cool Santa
Before is advertising contract with Coke came into play, Santa had to do something to make ends meet.
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#13. Santa The Ass Kicker
Halloween Man better watch his back, because this Santa means business.
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#14. Shaka Santa
It’s all groovy in Santa’s neighborhood. We just wish the picture was taken a little farther out, it’d be awesome to know what the statue is to the right.
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#15. Santa Riding A Reindeer Scooter
At Christmas, Santa uses the sleigh pulled by reindeer. The rest of the year, he rides this piece of crap.
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#16. Santa Shits Candy
We’ll quote Family Guy’s version of the Crazy Mickey Rooney on this one… “Open up your stockings kids!”
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#17. Santa Plays The Bongos
First, why would Santa ever need to play the bongos? Second… the “Try Me” sticker is a sad attempt at selling a ridiculous concept. “Try me… please?”
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#18. Naked Santa
Nothing says boner like a naked chick. Nothing says limp dick like a naked Santa.
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#19. The Night Jesus Met Santa Claus
We bet the illustrator of this book nearly lost it when he was given this task. “Um, yeah… we need you to draw Santa… on the floor of a house. With Jesus pointing at him. No, seriously.” We bet that CD is priceless too.
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#20. The Night Christmas Was Ruined For Everyone
At one point, everyone’s dad probably dressed up as Santa in a ploy to woo us into believing in a little Christmas magic. This, would be like doing the exact opposite.
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#21. Santa Moped Army
In America, we have the Hell’s Angels. In Japan, there’s Santa’s Moped Army.
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#22. Washed Up Santa
You try living with a bunch of elves and see if it doesn’t lead you to drinking yourself stupid.
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#23. Scary As Hell Santa
Someone please hold us.
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#24. Eco-friendly Santa
Everyone has to do their part to save the planet.
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#25. Santa Doom
The Fantastic Four thwarted Dr. Doom on hundreds of occasions. On this one, we bet they just let play out whatever retarded scheme he had thought up. You know, just for laughs.
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#26. Cracked Out Of His Skull Santa
The insane thing about this one, is that someone actually thought this was a good example of what ol’ Saint Nick looked like.
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#27. Dear Santa Claus…
Dear Santa Claus…. We’re sorry that we made this graphic, we were drunk and have no idea what we were thinking.
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#28. Santa Speared By A Jet Plane
Oh, we bet the big wigs at the airline just thought they were hilarious when they thought this up. It probably was funny, right up until the first couple of kids arrived to board the plane.
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#29. Live Phone Calls From Santa
Officially the worst Sex Chat Hotline in the world.
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#30. Santa Riding A Rocket Ship
What really happened when Rudolph couldn’t guide his sleigh.
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If you’ve seen or heard of a weird and bizarre Santa, tell us about it in the comments section!
Bill Goldberg playing Santa Claus was probably the worst thing ever EVER. Horrid horrid movie that just made my hatred for Goldberg even worse. May he have a horrible death.
Yea… #7 is actually the ‘pole dancing Santas’ I think. Or at least try outs for it. Although the ‘fight for the last cherry’ is a novel idea I’d say…
And I actually have #17!!! Makes a little clicking sound when he hits the drums.
A gift from Santa, of course!
The statue next to Shaka Santa is Mrs.Claus. They’re in downtown Honolulu every year.
i like the naked santa, thats hott! lol…scary santa is what you promote when your child just wont grow up, hahaha