These places might not be perfect for your family vacation.
Odd Ball Museum #1
Tour L. Ron Hubbards House in Arizona – Cost: Free
As if you hadn’t heard enough of the insanity that is Scientology from Tom Cruise and the gang, now you can visit the home of the founder of the evil brainwashing cult religion. It’s sort of like a trip to Bethlehem to see the manger that Jesus was born in, only it’s a home built in the 1940’s and… um… that’s it. Nothing magical, no picture opportunities, no awesome collectible spoons or magnets. It’s just a house, probably like your own grandparents home.
The house is located at Camelback in Phoenix, Arizona. And that’s where the interesting facts pretty much taper off to nothing. What can you do at L. Ron Hubbard’s House the birthplace of Scientology? How about a tour of his living room where he met with students and demonstrated the newly developed E-Meter. Cruise on by his bedroom where his desk holds pens, notes, and even Hubbard’s actual dictaphone. And no, we didn’t make up the word “dictaphone”, and yes we know it sounds like a penis that works as a phone.
A visit to Camelback will walk every Scientologist through the footsteps of the man who “forged the path to spiritual freedom” right to the bathroom where Hubbard took his shits.
Odd Ball Museum #2
Toilet Seat Art Museum, Arlington Texas – Cost: A Phone Call To Set Appointment
Everyone certainly enjoys a good toilet seat. We’re big fans of those cushioned ones like they have at our Grandma’s place. It’s like sitting on the couch while doing our business and if you take a beer and a good book in there with you, there’s no reason to leave.
But, as much as we like toilet seats, we don’t have shit on Barney Smith. He runs a Toilet Seat Art Museum out of his home in Texas, full of his self created Toilet Seat Art. Smith has been designing, carving, painting (and assorted other art words) toilet seats for around 40 years. We can only guess at what inspired Mr. Smith to take up toilet seat art, but basic theory around here seems to point in the direction of “lights off and forgetting to put the seat up.” You’ll find around 645 different seats in Barney Smith’s museum, decorated with everything from state license plates to a genuine marijuana leaf to a group of dead hornets. Smith said “One of them stung me on my head, and I just said, I’ll put you on my toilet seat”. Perhaps it would be best not to cross this gentleman unless you want end up mounted on a toilet seat and the subject of a horror film.
Barney is 81years old and started the museum up while working as a plumber stating that he “was comfortable with the medium.” Comfortable, like the cushioned seats at Grandma’s!
Odd Ball Museum #3
Sulabh International Museum of Toilets – Cost: 2.5 Cents Per Flush
Speaking of toilet seats. How about an entire museum devoted to toilets. It’s not hard to imagine the round table discussion that went into this decision. One guy says he has a lot of money to invest in something, and another guy says he has to head to the crapper, and he’d be right back. Then they’d all stop and slowly nod while doing some kind of slow high five. The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets was the brainchild of Dr. Bindeshwar Pathak who says; “The Toilet is a part of the history of human hygiene which is a critical chapter in the growth of human civilization.”
We couldn’t agree more. But why have a museum dedicated to something that we all have in our own homes? Dr. Pathak seems to have expected all opposition and so has objectives listed for the museum here. Among other things, education and something about “a lost bet in college” are listed. A trip to the museum will reward you with an in-depth look at the “art of defecation” with pictures, books, a variety of actual toilets, and a look of disdain from everyone that sees you leaving the place. Hell, Dr. Pathak even says on his museum’s website that if you have “Ever wondered what a museum dedicated entirely to the history of toilets would be like-seek professional help!”
Odd Ball Museum #4
Icelandic Phallological Museum – Cost: $7.50 Per Day
Finally a museum that sits close to our hearts. If our hearts were located by our cocks that is. The Icelandic Phallological Museum is probably the only museum in the world with the balls to hang up a penis from every mammal located in their country. This would be the equivalent to the United States running around and chopping the junk off of buffalo, coyotes, bobcats, racoons, elk, cougars, bears, and a whole fuckton of other animals. But, Iceland did it, and the sick bastards at the Icelandic Phallological Museum invite all dick lovers to come have a look. Women get half off on Thursdays!
The museum is home to two hundred and four penises and penile parts with donations coming from whales, seals, walruses, and polar bear. “The museum has also been fortunate enough to receive legally-certified gift tokens for four specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens.” Hold on a sec, we’re gonna go throw up. Okay… So not only are you a dude going to go see hundreds of penises, you’re going to go see other guys’ penises. These are not exactly pictures you’re gonna want to show off at work.
Just tell your friends that you stayed at home on your vacation.
Visitors will be thrilled to see not only a handful of cocks but also a load of folklore, art, and utensils related to the chosen theme. Utensils displayed include a bottle of lotion, some tissues, and a box of your dad’s old porn.
The Mutter Museum: Pennsylvania –
Glore Psychiatric Museum: Missouri –
Vent Haven Museum: Kentucky –
National Museum of Funeral History: Texas – http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2226
Museum of Medieval Torture: Czech Republic – http://www.ckrumlov.cz/uk/mesto/firmy/i_mustor.htm
Museum of Bad Art: Massachusetts –
Winchester Mystery House: California –