gremlindog.com

Oh man! It’s so exciting to meet a celebrity! But, oh how awkward the photos of a meeting with a celebrity can be. Below, you’ll see The 15 Most Awkward Celebrity Encounters we could find. Some even feature celebrities meeting other celebrities. Enjoy!

Hulk Hogan meets James Blunt
This has to go down as the most hilarious thing ever caught on camera. I can just hear the conversation. “Yo brother, it’s nice to meet you. Sure, go ahead and grab my arm, you seem like a nice enough lady.”

Ray Romano meets a girl who’s a huge fan of cats
Everybody Loves Raymond. Except for this girl, she prefers cats.

Tom Cruise meets and high fives a crowd
Katie  looks on in horror as Tom forces Scientology on a crowd of innocents through the power of a high five.

Jon Bon Jovi meets a lady who gets all in his business
Poor Jon, he just wanted to enjoy the game. This lady, wanted to touch his face with her hair. By the way Jon, camera’s over here buddy, not a mile that way.

Snoop Dogg meets a white kid
Homies fo life.

Brooke Hogan meets a girl while her brother looks like a tool
“Hi, can I get a picture with you Brooke?” No problem. ”Um, can you ask your ass of a brother to go away?”

Adrien Brody meets a monkey
Oh how the stars do fall from greatness.

Hugh Grant meets some dude (But isn’t happy about it)
Seriously Hugh, at least you have a fan. Smile for the poor soul.

Colin Powell meets this fella (And takes the photo himself)
“General Powell! General Powell! Can I get a picture with you?” Sure. “Um, can you take the picture, I have no friends.”

Stephen Baldwin meets Hannah Montana and a book
The fact that Stephen not only wrote a book but can read is funny enough. The fact that Hannah Montana showed up for the book signing is epic.

Jim Brown meets a fan
“No, it’s cool Jim, I like it that you look totally blasted.”

Michael Cera meets some chicks
“Smile for the camera kids! Smile for the wall over there Michael…”

Justin Timberlake meets Red Hat Guy
“I LOVED YOU IN N’SYNC!!!”

Hayden Panettiere meets Bristol Palin
“Don’t look at me preggers girl.”

Tyra Banks meets man in boy’s clothing
“Want to see my legos Tyra Banks?”

So, you’ve started a band. Well, it’s all fine and dandy if you’re able to sing and play your instruments. What’s important… what will make you a star… what will sell your albums… what will get you ladies… is the perfect band photo.

Your photo is what record labels will see to get a first impression. Your photo will be in magazines where you shout to the world your greatness. And most importantly, your photo is going to grace the cover of your debut cd. You can’t screw around, you’ve got to get it perfect.

So, we are here to help. To give you and your band mates the knowledge and the know how so you can achieve greatness… through photography.

___________________________________________________________

Step #1 – Make sure everyone in the band is in the shot.

Yep, even that one guy that doesn’t look like he belongs. Sure, he probably plays the fiddle or the fucking flute or something… but he’s in the band. And he’ll bitch if you don’t put him in the photo. Save yourself the trouble, and just put him in, but for goodness sake, put him in the back. Which, leads us to our next step.

Step #2 – Make sure that people are staggered.

Sure, you’re all an important part of the band. But, damn it if that one guy in the band doesn’t ever dress cool enough. Put him at the back. And while you’re at it, remind him afterwards that he’s in a band, not working at the library. He’ll work harder on looking better on the next photo.

Step #3 - Take the photo at a place that symbolizes you.

These guys have it right. They’ve taken their photo at the corner of Barry Baker Place & an overgrown field of brush. Nice job holding that guitar dude. Nice job indeed! (On a side note, make sure your little brother isn’t hiding in the freakin bushes.)

Step #4 – Take your photo on some stairs/steps.

Right on! When shooting a band photo, steps speak of the struggle you’ve worked through to climb to greatness. And tie-dyed shirts speak of how your mother still dresses you. Are ya’ll ready to rock!?!? Yes, we are.

Step #5 – Take the picture at an awkward angle.

By taking the shot from above, these guys prove that things are looking up. By taking the picture in a men’s restroom stall, they’ve shown that their career is still in the shitter.

Step #6 – Show your personalities.

Are one of you a thinker? Are one of you funny? Are one of you a crappy Jack Black look-a-like? Show the world! Sixty-Nine Fingers? Try sixty-nine with the ladies that might or might not be our sisters!

Step #7 – Look at everything but the camera.

By looking at everything but the camera you’re saying ”Hey, we are timeless. We’ve been there, and we’ve been over there too. Of course it also says”Hey, we can’t focus when the cameraman tells us to.” Sunglasses help, it hides the wandering eyes.

Step #8 – Superimpose the band name over the photo.

You don’t want anyone mistaking you for “that other band” so make sure and put your band name over the top of your photo. It’ll guarantee that when people say… “Hey, have you heard of <insert band name>” that people will answer, “Yeah, aren’t they the douchebags in that stupid photo on the bathroom wall of the bar?” Word. They are.

Step #9 – Take the photo by an old building.

A photo in front of a factory or some old abandoned crack house shows that you are hard core. You rock. You are badass. And when people question you, you’ll be able to answer them… “Dude, we hang out by factories and old buildings. You have nothing on us.”

Step #10 – Have someone acting totally crazy.

If you have a guy in the band that’s a total wacko, that’ll draw a crowd right? Make sure he shows his unique personality. You want to sell tickets/albums right? Plus, he’ll kill you if you tell him to smile.

___________________________________________________________ 

In conclusion, your band photo is the most important thing you have to do when making a band. Don’t mess around. You only get one shot at greatness. And that shot better have you all by a metal building, staggered, looking at different things, and with the ugly guy at the back or you’re straight fucked.

More examples of band photo greatness.

Ah… Pro Athletes. What we wouldn’t give to be one. All the money, all the fame, all the sweet sports cars and giant houses. All of the babes trying to grab our junk.

But, our moms say we have no talent. That and we don’t have the right “look.”

Neither do these guys mom, but they still made it!

__________________________________________________________

#1 – Troy Polamalu

Don’t get us wrong. Troy is one hell of a football player. But, he doesn’t exactly put off that, “Hey, I’m a jock, where’s the weight room?” look that we would associate with a true Man’s Man Pro Athlete. He looks more like…

Cher. Yeah, that Cher hair just can’t be missed.

__________________________________________________________

#2 – Yao Ming

Yao Ming is huge. He doesn’t even have to jump to dunk… or to touch the moon.  We would imagine they sent this guy to America so he’d stop scaring the kids in his home country. He’s Godzilla big. Ming is like a giraffe on stilts… wearing a big hat.

Sure, the above picture has things mixed up a little… the giraffe has no hat, and the lion is the one on stilts. But, you can’t deny the fact that it’s hilarious. And the direct result of searching “giraffe on stilts + hat.”

We like this guy. He’s a great ball player, and he is in a funny commercial where he demands that there’s a full sized whole banana in each bottle of the flavored water. That doesn’t sway the fact that he looks like…

I know what you’re thinking… we just put another picture of Steve Nash here. But, you’re wrong. That’s James Blunt. And Steve Nash looks like him.

__________________________________________________________

#4 – Randy Johnson

Odds are Randy Johnson is a really nice guy. We almost feel bad for even including him on this list. But that doesn’t change the fact that he looks more like a Huge Redneck than a Pro Athlete.

“No, I don’t want to play baseball today… I’m busy.”

__________________________________________________________

#5 – Sam Cassell

Sam… why are you on this list?

Oh.

__________________________________________________________

#6 – Kyle Orton

Kyle Orton, shave your beard. Kyle Orton, wake up. Kyle Orton, stop looking like a stoned college student.

“Has anyone seen my sock tobogan?”

__________________________________________________________

#7 – Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk… what kindof name is that anyway? “I’m Dirk from Dallas. LET’S ROCK!” Dirk looks more like a rock star than a Pro Athlete. Throw some paint on his face, a guitar in his hands, put him on stage…

And also make him wear silly outfits and platform boots.

__________________________________________________________

#8 – Joakim Noah

This poor fella. Seriously, Joakim Noah may be a great basketball player, but even that only goes so far. He’s just a plain ugly dude. And he looks like one of the Beagle Boys from Ducktales.

Put a big unruly head of hair on the tall one that’s standing in the back left, and you’ve got a twin.

__________________________________________________________

#9 – Andre Agassi

Sure, he may have cleaned up his act, and cut his hair, and started doing camera commercials, but not always. He used to be married to Brooke Shields and looked like a moron. Or one of the Rockers from the WWF.

“What’s up ladies?”

__________________________________________________________

#10 – Larry Bird

We intentionally saved Larry Bird for last, because out of all these people, he’s the most god-like. The things he did on the basketball court, and the epic battles between him and Michael Jordan will forever live in history. But, he still looks like someone’s Aunt who lives in England.

Anyone up for a cup of tea? Or a game of basketball? Or both?

__________________________________________________________

Honorable Mention – Don Mossi

Yep, he played Professional Baseball. And you get paid to do whatever it is you do. How’s that for a kick in the balls?

These places might not be perfect for your family vacation.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Odd Ball Museum #1

Tour L. Ron Hubbards House in Arizona - Cost: Free

As if you hadn’t heard enough of the insanity that is Scientology from Tom Cruise and the gang, now you can visit the home of the founder of the evil brainwashing cult religion. It’s sort of like a trip to Bethlehem to see the manger that Jesus was born in, only it’s a home built in the 1940’s and… um… that’s it. Nothing magical, no picture opportunities, no awesome collectible spoons or magnets. It’s just a house, probably like your own grandparents home.

The house is located at Camelback in Phoenix, Arizona. And that’s where the interesting facts pretty much taper off to nothing. What can you do at L. Ron Hubbard’s House the birthplace of Scientology? How about a tour of his living room where he met with students and demonstrated the newly developed E-Meter. Cruise on by his bedroom where his desk holds pens, notes, and even Hubbard’s actual dictaphone. And no, we didn’t make up the word “dictaphone”, and yes we know it sounds like a penis that works as a phone.

The Dickphone, by Acme!

A visit to Camelback will walk every  Scientologist through the footsteps of the man who “forged the path to spiritual freedom” right to the bathroom where Hubbard took his shits.

_____________________________

Odd Ball Museum #2

Toilet Seat Art Museum, Arlington Texas – Cost: A Phone Call To Set Appointment

Everyone certainly enjoys a good toilet seat. We’re big fans of those cushioned ones like they have at our Grandma’s place. It’s like sitting on the couch while doing our business and if you take a beer and a good book in there with you, there’s no reason to leave.

But, as much as we like toilet seats, we don’t have shit on Barney Smith. He runs a Toilet Seat Art Museum out of his home in Texas, full of his self created Toilet Seat Art. Smith has been designing, carving, painting (and assorted other art words) toilet seats for around 40 years. We can only guess at what inspired Mr. Smith to take up toilet seat art, but basic theory around here seems to point in the direction of “lights off and forgetting to put the seat up.” You’ll find around 645 different seats in Barney Smith’s museum, decorated with everything from state license plates to a genuine marijuana leaf to a group of dead hornets. Smith said “One of them stung me on my head, and I just said, I’ll put you on my toilet seat”. Perhaps it would be best not to cross this gentleman unless you want end up mounted on a toilet seat and the subject of a horror film.

Barney is 81years old and started the museum up while working as a plumber stating that he “was comfortable with the medium.” Comfortable, like the cushioned seats at Grandma’s!

____________________________

Odd Ball Museum #3

Sulabh International Museum of Toilets - Cost: 2.5 Cents Per Flush

Speaking of toilet seats. How about an entire museum devoted to toilets. It’s not hard to imagine the round table discussion that went into this decision. One guy says he has a lot of money to invest in something, and another guy says he has to head to the crapper, and he’d be right back. Then they’d all stop and slowly nod while doing some kind of slow high five. The Sulabh International Museum of Toilets was the brainchild of Dr. Bindeshwar Pathak who says; “The Toilet is a part of the history of human hygiene which is a critical chapter in the growth of human civilization.”

Human genius at it’s finest.

We couldn’t agree more. But why have a museum dedicated to something that we all have in our own homes? Dr. Pathak seems to have expected all opposition and so has objectives listed for the museum here. Among other things, education and something about “a lost bet in college” are listed. A trip to the museum will reward you with an in-depth look at the “art of defecation” with pictures, books, a variety of actual toilets, and a look of disdain from everyone that sees you leaving the place. Hell, Dr. Pathak even says on his museum’s website that if you have “Ever wondered what a museum dedicated entirely to the history of toilets would be like-seek professional help!”

____________________________

Odd Ball Museum #4

Icelandic Phallological Museum - Cost: $7.50 Per Day

Finally a museum that sits close to our hearts. If our hearts were located by our cocks that is. The Icelandic Phallological Museum is probably the only museum in the world with the balls to hang up a penis from every mammal located in their country. This would be the equivalent to the United States running around and chopping the junk off of buffalo, coyotes, bobcats, racoons, elk, cougars, bears, and a whole fuckton of other animals. But, Iceland did it, and the sick bastards at the Icelandic Phallological Museum invite all dick lovers to come have a look. Women get half off on Thursdays!

The museum is home to two hundred and four penises and penile parts with donations coming from whales, seals, walruses, and polar bear. “The museum has also been fortunate enough to receive legally-certified gift tokens for four specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens.” Hold on a sec, we’re gonna go throw up. Okay… So not only are you a dude going to go see hundreds of penises, you’re going to go see other guys’ penises. These are not exactly pictures you’re gonna want to show off at work.

Just tell your friends that you stayed at home on your vacation.

Visitors will be thrilled to see not only a handful of cocks but also a load of folklore, art, and utensils related to the chosen theme. Utensils displayed include a bottle of lotion, some tissues, and a box of your dad’s old porn.

____________________________

Additional Museums

The Mutter Museum: Pennsylvania -
www.muttermuseum.org

Glore Psychiatric Museum: Missouri -
www.gloremuseum.org

Vent Haven Museum: Kentucky -
www.venthavenmuseum.net

National Museum of Funeral History: Texas – http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2226

Museum of Medieval Torture: Czech Republic – http://www.ckrumlov.cz/uk/mesto/firmy/i_mustor.htm

Museum of Bad Art: Massachusetts -
www.museumofbadart.org

Winchester Mystery House: California -
www.winchestermysteryhouse.com