What If My Wife Named The NFL Teams – Based Only On Their Helmet Logos

First of all – WE’RE BACK! After a nearly 4 year vacation – the Gremlindog Staff is finally back to work.

Secondly, the biggest game in Football is happening this weekend, and the crew is ready for the Big Game. However, my wife couldn’t give less of a shit. So when I told her I was going to watch the Seahawks and the Broncos on Sunday… she had literally no clue as to what I was referencing.

Football, I said, I’m going to watch Football.

“Oh, what teams?”

Denver and Seattle.

“What?”

I grabbed my computer…

This team, The Seattle Seahawks, are playing The Denver Broncos.

“They should call them the Yawning Horses, that looks like a horse that is yawning.”

Face into hand.

“What the heck is a ‘Seahawk’ anyway? Seagull maybe! HAR HAR HAR!”

Anyone who knows my wife knows this laugh. Anyone who doesn’t can just imagine the goofiest laugh ever. And there you go.

So, that brings us to the topic of this post. What If My Wife Named The NFL Teams – Based Only On Their Helmet Logos! And then to make this a little more fun, and a little more visually appealing – what if we search the name on Google, that she came up with and post the first picture? YAY!

I think we should start with the obvious. This Sunday, it’s the Football Supershow, and playing in this game of all games is none other than…

The Seagulls – Nothing strikes fear into the enemy like a bird that looks cross at the fact someone took his picture.

And in the Big Game, they’ll be playing…

The Yawning Horses – GO TEAM!

Should be a good game!

And here we go with the rest of the amazing Football Show Teams!

The Blue Starfish – Obvious, and cute.

The Flaming T-Stars – Hahahahahaha, wtf?

The Orange with Stripes – Fair Enough, not really funny, but fair enough.

The Orange with No Stripes – Oh yeah.

The Primary Color Thieves – Ha, this movie. Of course, I’m not going to lie – I would still love to have that metal horse that one kid rode around on.

The Star Eyed Cows – I Love You Internet.

The Lucky Horseshoes – I really hoped we would get a picture of Andrew Luck, but, luck ironically enough, was not on our side.

The Blue-Tongued Cats – In all fairness, that cat could have any number of colors on his tongue… and he’d probably still win more games than the actual team did this year.

The ENYA’s – What a halftime show this would be…

The Red-Striped Goats – Okay, sometimes the Internet Giveth, and sometimes it taketh away. This my friends, is a meal including goat meat… with a Red Stripe Beer to drink.

The Circus Stunt Dolphins – Wait, that logo is true to real life? Why would a dolphin jump through fire… why dolphin? No fish is worth that!

The Jets – Well, we’re going to have a couple dead giveaways. It’s not our fault that someone was an uncreative bastard when someone designed the team logo!

The Golden Swirly Thing – Talk about unoriginal. I suppose it looks like horns. Search Gold Swirly Thing… you get a golden swirly thing.

The Letter C’s with a Point? – Searching for this was Pointless… so was the “C” that I found.

The Wings – Yes, The Wings

The Circle G’s – I get that the G is for Green Bay, and a Packer perhaps wouldn’t make much sense on the side of the helmet. But in the case of the Circle G’s – you search, you find a ranch. Go Team!

The Black Cats – Unlucky this year in the playoffs, The Black Cat isn’t a bad mascot perhaps. Happy Halloween!

The Mel Gibson’s – Okay, this one makes me happy… the irony of it is brilliant.

The KC Arrowheads – On this one, the wife stated “This is stupid, just like football… I don’t want to do anymore.” She went to the kitchen, grabbed some wine. I praised her on how funny this would be, and how she was so cool. Now we’re back.

The Pirate Swordheads – I personally love this one. It’s so basic. So true. The picture we found on the internet however, is not so basic. Please comment if you have any idea who those dudes are. Go Sword Heads!

The Lightning Bolts – ‘Nuff said.

Angry Cardinals – She was close guys – almost had it. As for that picture… “GTFO other bird!”

Prancing Blue Cats – LOL!

The Hawks – Gotta admit that I thought she was kidding me. I was like, wait you don’t watch the NBA do you? And she was like… “What the heck is that? Other football?” The irony of this though… should be on a t-shirt.

The B-Birds – Quoteth the wife… “Why does that bird have a letter “B” on it’s head? Football is stupid.”

The Horny Boys – More “HAR HAR HAR”ing. She really thinks she’s funny now.

The Fleur De Lis’s – Gotta admit, I had no idea what that thing was. She did. Learn something new everyday. Go Fleur De Lis’s!!!

The SF’s – Wow, that’s what comes up when you search SF. Go interweb, go.

The That Kinda Looks Like What’s On Those Old Nickel’s – Why yes, yes it does.

The Pirate Flaggers – And on that, we’ve run out of original. She’s not even trying… and neither were the Buc’s this year. WAMMO!

On that note… are we done? 32 Teams. Yep, we’re done. Be sure to comment below on what you think the team’s names would be! Or what your silly significant other that doesn’t like sports would call them.

Go Team… Win the Match! Whatever your favorite football show is, I hope you enjoy the Supershow, and the commercials. We’ll be back next week to review the goodies, and the badies.

Thanks for reading!

 

Ten Pro Athletes That Look Nothing Like “Pro Athletes”

Ah… Pro Athletes. What we wouldn’t give to be one. All the money, all the fame, all the sweet sports cars and giant houses. All of the babes trying to grab our junk.

But, our moms say we have no talent. That and we don’t have the right “look.”

Neither do these guys mom, but they still made it!
__________________________________________________________

#1 – Troy Polamalu

troy-polamalu

Don’t get us wrong. Troy is one hell of a football player. But, he doesn’t exactly put off that, “Hey, I’m a jock, where’s the weight room?” look that we would associate with a true Man’s Man Pro Athlete. He looks more like…

cher

Cher. Yeah, that Cher hair just can’t be missed.

__________________________________________________________

#2 – Yao Ming

yao-ming

Yao Ming is huge. He doesn’t even have to jump to dunk… or to touch the moon.  We would imagine they sent this guy to America so he’d stop scaring the kids in his home country. He’s Godzilla big. Ming is like a giraffe on stilts… wearing a big hat.

giraffe

Sure, the above picture has things mixed up a little… the giraffe has no hat, and the lion is the one on stilts. But, you can’t deny the fact that it’s hilarious. And the direct result of searching “giraffe on stilts + hat.”

__________________________________________________________
#3 – Steve Nash

steve-nash

We like this guy. He’s a great ball player, and he is in a funny commercial where he demands that there’s a full sized whole banana in each bottle of the flavored water. That doesn’t sway the fact that he looks like…

james-blunt

I know what you’re thinking… we just put another picture of Steve Nash here. But, you’re wrong. That’s James Blunt. And Steve Nash looks like him.

__________________________________________________________

#4 – Randy Johnson

JOHNSON RANDY

Odds are Randy Johnson is a really nice guy. We almost feel bad for even including him on this list. But that doesn’t change the fact that he looks more like a Huge Redneck than a Pro Athlete.

redneck

“No, I don’t want to play baseball today… I’m busy.”

__________________________________________________________

#5 – Sam Cassell

sam-cassell

Sam… why are you on this list?

et

Oh.

Continue reading Ten Pro Athletes That Look Nothing Like “Pro Athletes”

Top 6 Videos Of Monkeys Doing Funny Stuff

Monkeys are freakin’ hilarious. There’s just no doubt about it.

So, we thought we’d share the hilarity that is mankind’s closest relative. The chimpanzee. Enjoy!

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Monkey On A Segway, Why Not?:

Even Monkeys Realize The Importance Of Good Fitness:

More Important Than Teaching Them To Communicate Or Use Tools, Is Teaching Monkeys To Kick Ass:

Drive Monkey Drive!:

Funnier Than Some Sitcoms On TV Now:

The Classic: